TAYM

My schedule was very hectic the past few days that I could no longer check my email, all for the heck of making money. I forced myself to write despite some obstructions, hoping that I could pass my articles before the deadline. Fortunately, with God’s grace and un-abating adrenalin, I finished and submitted them to my employer.  And God knows how tiring it was that in the eyes of fuel-operated-human-cyborg like me, I rightfully deserve a reward aside from saying yohoo, yohoo, human na trabaho ko! to appease myself.

My reward of course is completely different from the typical reward that one usually has. I am not thinking of a present from someone, or roaming around hot spots such as malls, or drowning myself in booze, or spending quality time with my GG (God’s Gift) who reads and writes, or drooling in front of a booth that offers seven colors of ice cream, or dreaming of the big-time game between Barcelona and Inter Milan, or burying myself in thousand pages of books that lay idle in my room. My kind of reward is “time” where I can be myself, free from the hassle of everyday living and the pressure of professional demands.

That’s right, I need time. I know this sounds funny when time is just around the corner which stands embraceable at any moment of the day. But God knows I need time for myself - time to ruminate on things, to be one with my journal named Rosa and converse in a kind soliloquy way, to pray.  Or most of all, I need time to be “silent.”  In this pressing world where one has to endure the totoot of busses everyday, the howling of directors and seniors, and the  awareness of the increasing number of catastrophic death, who doesn’t want to leave this place and find time to be alone with himself. The problem however is whether you find time or not. I admit, it is very difficult to find a quality time where you can be yourself. And the more you search for it, the harder it gets for you to have it; the more the world becomes chaotic because of ever-changing consumer demands and political shenanigans, the more time becomes elusive.

Yet, despite that, I still long for it (as my reward). After all, we will come to the point when we thirst for it. At least, because of its practical side, if not of its redeeming sense just exactly what our souls need.